Book Review: The Last Testament Of God

If an atheist rewrote the Bible in the 21st century, what would it look like?

Probably a lot like, The Last Testament of God: A Memoir by God / with David Javerbaum. Lol.

Here it is, folks. God Telleth All. Finally!

Here are the answers to your questions about the Bible and why Christians, particularly fundamentalist Christians are just plain wrong.

Did you know that first couple was Adam and Steve, not Eve?

Why does God believe in Evolution?

AND OMFG the shocking revelation that God’s NOT Perfect! He says so himself! So it MUST be TRUE!

Scandalous to be sure but God was pretty scandalous even in his crankier days when he spend all of his time smiting his enemies.

This is scandalous in a modern 21st century way, but of course the smiting continues….

1:19. I am not perfect.
1:20. Yea, I am omnipotent; but there are mortals tramping thy corridors of power who are nearly so, at least within the earthly dominion; and does their great might foster in them perfect righteousness? Or are they not mostly bastards?
1:21. Yea, I am omniscient; but there are mortals waddling the casinos of Las Vegas possessing nearly all information on the handicapping arts; yet does their great knowledge foster in them perfect judgement? Or did they not just lose their shirts on the Seahawks +2 1/2.
1:22. And so, Reader, as thou flippest through these awe-inspiring pages, be not surprised to discover that over the millennia I have erred on matters great and small, and even at times shown slight defects of character.
1:23. For despite all the sobriquets listed above, and all the wondrous attributes contained within me, I am not perfect, and have never claimed to be.
1:24. I have claimed only that my imperfections are thy fault.

And so begins Againesis….

Fast forwarding to Revelations ….

God responds to Christian demands:
1:11. “I want my Judgment Day and I want it now!”.

 God:
1:23. I had made a vow never to be dishonest to thee again, and I meant to keep it; no, this would have to be a clean and total break;
1:24. For mankind, I love thee far too deeply not to destroy thee utterly.
1:25. And so I made the decision: one last crazy year, and then we say good-bye, not in regret but in friendship; valuing the time we spent together, treasuring the memories we shared, and putting behind us the anger thou caused.
1:26. The world began on October 23, 4004 BC; it will end on December 21, 2012; pencil it in.
1:27. (But remember what I said at the end of Facts 5:2-9, about there being a little wiggle room to leave time for a sequel if this book selleth well enough.
1:28. No pressure.)

And so it was, is, and shall be ....

I want every Christian I know to have a copy of this book.

Heh. Maybe I'll give it to them as a Christmas gift from Santa Claus.

The Last Testament Of God

An amusing look at what "God" really thinks. When the book comes out, give it to any Fundies you know. :-D.

Hear that Chris! You're getting a copy!

God's Twitter feed

An Atheist Case For The Existence of God(s)

I know this sounds pretty strange, particularly coming from me … a lifelong atheist who was never indoctrinated into any religious belief.

You’re probably asking yourself why I, an atheist would make a case for the existence of gods instead of against the existence of gods given the fact that an atheist by definition has an absence of god beliefs.

Well, I’m just exploring a hypothesis. One that I’ve played with over the years and have decided to put to paper and see where it flies (or crashes and burns).

It came to mind recently as a result of a discussion I’m currently having with a friend who makes the claim that “gods are fictional”.

I don’t entirely disagree with the claim. It really is quite a good explanation for the concept of gods, however, one of the points that I’ve been making to my friend is that it’s probably not a good idea to make such statements absolute.

That is, a better statement or claim would be, “it’s probable or highly likely that gods are fictional”. The reason for this is that there are other good potential reasons why humanity adopted the god concept. In addition, not all of them are based on the non-existence of gods.

So, while this is a good explanation, it isn’t the only good explanation.

Since my friend offered up the challenge that I should falsify his claim which he defended and supported, I took up the challenge.

For the sake of argument, here it is:

Background:

It is known that in ancient times, human beings often considered their leaders (kings) gods. In some cases, they considered them representatives of gods but in many cases they were considered actual gods. This is evidenced in cultures like the ancient Egyptians who considered their rulers actual gods.

The Ancient Egyptian Pharoahs

Given the above background:

1. Ancient Egyptians considered their leaders gods.
2. There is evidence these leaders existed both through historical documentation and objective evidence (mummies of the kings).
3. Therefore gods exist and are not fictional.

The claim that “gods are fictional” has now been falsified.

Gods exist.

Holy Fuck. Am I still an atheist???? ;-D

Note to theists reading this blog (I know you're there lol). Please note that this argument cannot and does not support the existence of your preferred sky fairies which do not claim to be human. It also does not support the existence of the Abrahamic God who is claimed to have magically come to earth in the form of a human named Jesus. The reasons for this are obvious. If you don't understand why please feel free to ask.

GOD, No! by Penn Jillette

This post is dedicated to the memory of Furlan Primus aka Magicus, an atheist, magician, and online friend, who died last year on July 26, 2010, and who would have loved this book.

Penn, the other half of the Penn and Teller duo has written an entertaining and enlightening book which regales the reader with great stories viewing the world through the eyes and experiences of a godless heathen.

Stories that I think most of us atheists can relate to with a chuckle and a nod.

He’s broken the book down into 10 sections which contrast the Christian 10 commandments with 10 atheist suggestions along with often hilarious vignettes illustrating what happens when the world of the godless collides with the world of the religious.

Read about the atheist stripper who contributed to the de-conversion of an Orthodox Hasidic Jew by explaining science (evolution) during a lap dance. (Only in New York you say? And sorry guys he doesn’t give her name or the name of the Strip Club, Heh.).

And then there’s the Vegas (where else?) atheist “baptism” featuring a pool and a naked Extreme Elvis with a great voice, big belly and needle-size dick.

Simpleton, my friend, it beats the ice-cube filled swimming pool party during the Eostre celebrations idea, hands down!

Combine the humor with serious and intelligent points like:

"The last time I asked anyone if they were Jewish was many years ago at MIT. I don't remember why, but I asked a genius geek who was showing us around the Media Lab, the same genius geek who joined us for AB's atheist communion, if he was Jewish. He responded, "No, I'm an atheist." His dad, as a young child, had fought and escaped from the Nazis, but that didn't make his family Jewish. He didn't see it as a racial or cultural question but a theological question. He didn't care what Hitler would have considered him; he was an atheist. He was no more a Jew than I was a Christian. That answer was important to me. It was that moment when I understood George Clinton suggesting one nation under a motherfucking groove. It was an inspiration." --Penn Jillette

And enough said!

This book is, in my opinion, a definite buy and would make a great gift for any atheist friends (and for in or out of the closet, going through the de-conversion process religious friends).

Enjoy!

Church Of Reality's "Hidden Agenda"

"Everybody has a Hidden Agenda

Does the Church of Reality have a hidden agenda? Do we have a secret plan? What is it we are "really" up to? In an age where everyone is lying about something, what is the Church of Reality really about? Is it politics? Is it world domination? Are we really Satan's minions?

So yeah, we have a plan. We have a plot. We are up to something. But what is it? Is the Church of Reality really going to reveal it? Sure we are!

Would we lie to you?

We are really just trying to trick religious people into thinking.

Our hidden agenda is - we are trying to trick people into thinking. Thinking about reality that is. We believe that if people start thinking about reality that it will cause them to ask themselves if what they believe in is real. Will this undermine faith? It will undermine blind faith. We want to perform a faith healing on faith itself so that the blindly faithful will see again. We want to take the blindness out of blind faith.

Making people think is what we are really up to. Realism is a religion of the mind. You try to resist it but you can't. You can pray and pray and as hard as you try not to - you just can't help it. All of a sudden there you are, thinking. Thinking about reality - reality the way it really is. It seduces you, sucks you in. You start wondering if what you believe is really real. The temptation is too strong to resist. You can feel reality all around you and you can't help but to wonder what it is. And when you are thinking about reality you are becoming real in the sacred moment. And during that time you become one of us.

Resistance is futile. ha ha ha ha ha ... heh."

The above is a direct quote from their terrific site.

Enjoy!

BBC Podcast : The Infinite Monkey Cage.

Irreverant and hilarious but with lots of science.

The Infinite Monkey Cage

"Science/comedy chat with Brian Cox, Robin Ince and guests. Witty, irreverent look at the world according to science with physicist Brian Cox and comedian Robin Ince. New Series starting on BBC Radio 4, Monday November 15th at 4.30pm for 4 weeks." --BBC Podcast site

Unintentional Comedy :-D

I like to delude myself into believing that I hang out on Internet debating news groups for the intellectual exchanges, and we do get some.

I'm pretty sure that the following type of exchange is why I really hang out on Internet debating news groups. (Despite my attempts to delude myself into believing otherwise ;-D

Unintentional comedy can be so much funnier than the real thing....

The topic of the debate (believe it or not) is the Historicity of the NT.

Undefined  is responding to a claim by a Christian that one of the NT genealogies is Mary's line and the other NT genealogy is Joseph's line in relation to Jesus and this, according him is why they are different.

Undefined doesn't identify himself as an atheist or Christian and responds by saying:
Neither genealogy mentions Mary. So, neither records Jesus' lineage through Mary.

Another Christian responds to Undefined with the following and then it starts:

Christian:
This is where you need to understand that only the *men* in a family were important. This comes about because Adam was told to be *fruitful and multiply* before he could name the woman *Eve*. And, because the man is the giver of life to his offspring. St. Thomas Aquinas said that the *sperm moves of its own volition.* Therefore man is the giver of life. And, to believe that God sent His Only Begotten Son to earth - it stands to reason that GOD - being a man - could give life to His Son - and So redeem us from Satan's sin in heaven and on earth.

The question would certainly then become - what is *life* - Is that tree outside my window *alive*.

Atheist:
Yes, it is. Unless it's dead.

Christian:
It is not *alive* with the same definition of *life* except in the English Language

Atheist:
Yes, it is. We share a common ancestor with trees, they are a living organism - they are born, they grow, they eat, they reproduce, they die - just like us.

Christian:
Well then why can't they talk to you

Atheist:
They don't have mouths. Or vocal chords. Or brains.

Mice can't talk to you. Do you think mice are alive? Babies can't talk to you. Do you think they are alive?

Christian:
 -- and why don't they obey you when you tell them to move over and give you room - or get away from your house a bit, because they are too close to the foundation.

Atheist:
Why don't you just pray to God to get him to move the tree for you?

Christian:
There is a difference between life that is the *breath of life* human beings receive at birth, and a tree.

Atheist:
No there isn't. We are similar in that we each have a life cycle.

Christian:
Of course, we both have *atoms* that are moving in us - but we don't both have a mind that can control what my next work I type is.

Atheist:
Having a mind isn't what defines being alive. Do you think that amoebas are alive? Are jellyfish alive?

Christian:
because that tree cannot get up and move over a bit where I would really like it to be.

Atheist:
Just because it isn't ambulatory doesn't mean it isn't alive. Do you think fish aren't alive because they can't walk?

Christian:
Like I am trying to explain.  In the English language we need a word for *life* that stands for human life, and a word for *life* that stands for plant life.

Atheist:
We already do - humans and plants. They are both members of the set of living organisms that live on Earth.

Christian:
In other words, the definition of *life* in the English Language is messed up to say the least,

Atheist:
What is "messed up" is your understanding of biology.

Christian:
Biology has nothing to do with this argument.

Atheist:
It has everything to do with this argument since biologists have learned to distinguish between living organisms and inanimate objects. Trees and humans are both living organisms.

Christian:
from the standpoint that an animal is alive because it can go anywhere it wants to when it wants to.

Atheist:
So by your definition a parapalegic isn't alive.

Christian:
A paraplegic is alive because they are a human being.

Atheist:
But they can't go anywhere they want, and you just said that "an animal is alive because it can go anywhere it wants to when it wants to." So by your definition, parapalegics are the same as trees. You are contradicting yourself.

Christian:
The tree is not truly alive - just like your wife's egg - is not truly alive because it cannot propel itself anywhere.

Atheist:
My wife's egg (I'm trying to keep a straight face here) isn't alive unless I fertilize it with my sperm. Once it is fertilized it is alive.

Christian:
Ah ha!  point I have been trying to make - and you just made it. The point in fact that the *male of the human species is the giver of life to his children.*

Atheist:
The point you were trying to make is that trees aren't alive.

Christian:
The fact that the *male of the human species* - reproduces Himself.

Atheist:
The human male does not "reproduce himself". The fertilized eggs gets one half of its DNA from the Mommy and the other half from the Daddy. If the human male "reproduced himself" then the human male would be no different from an amoeba.

Christian:
The fact that the *spirit* in your children came from the *male* of the family - and the fact that the female only puts the *human body* around the *soul* of a child.

Atheist:
If by "fact" you mean "uneducated lunacy", I agree!

Do you think a baby in the womb isn't alive?

Christian:
Yes, I believe a fetus is alive.

Atheist:
But babies in the womb can't go anywhere they want, and you just said that "an animal is alive because it can go anywhere it wants to when it wants to." So by your definition, babies in the womb are the same as trees - not alive. You are contradicting yourself.

Christian:
In fact since I have a child of my own, I know the supreme wonderful feeling of knowing that a child is alive inside of me.

Atheist:
Good for you.

So why was your baby alive even though it couldn't go where it wanted and, by your definition, a tree isn't alive because it can't go where it wants?

Christian:
I can remember when my husband reached over and felt that little one kick.  What joy. Of course, my ribs felts like they were getting kicked to smithereens. But the pain of childbirth was totally forgotten when I held that little one in my arms for the first time and counted the fingers and toes and saw the perfection that is *human beings*.

Atheist:
This is nice, but it doesn't explain why babies in the womb are alive and why trees aren't.

Christian:
It is interesting to see how the English Language has evolved to the place where the definitions of the words we use do not portray the truth we are trying to state.

Atheist:
Just because you don't understand the English language doesn't mean that everyone else doesn't either.

Christian:
The English language is not the *best* language when you want to express some ways of thinking.

Atheist:
The English language works just fine for communicating which objects are alive and what objects aren't.

Christian:
Other languages have their own nuances that sometimes give a completely more complete meaning to what they have to say.

Atheist:
Other languages work works just fine too for communicating which objects are alive and what objects aren't.

Christian:
I guess this is the human brain at work - trying to make a tree or dog or cat be something more than an animal that is eatable.

Atheist:
You want to eat trees and dogs and cats?

Christian:
We are probably already doing it and not knowing that it is what we are eating.

Atheist:
So besides all the other conspiracies you squawk about, now there's a conspiracy to feed us wood and pets. Do you think we are being fed people too?

Christian:
Some other cultures eat a lot of things that we, as Americans, will not touch. Like grasshopper legs in chocolate - um good.

Atheist:
That doesn't mean that you are being fed pets and trees by large corporations.

Tim Minchin's Storm

It's one his best. The creative energy coming from atheists who love to entertain is just awesome.

Tim Minchin On The Pope, Mo Boobs and Jesus and Mo ....

While the video and the cartoons are quite hilarious, all have the potential of being extremely offensive to some.

If you are:
1. easily offended
2. object to swearing
3. are religious (particularly Catholic or Muslim)
4. are a religious accommodationist

And/Or are humor challenged...

Do Not Watch This Video Or View The Rest Of This Post.

Now, you can't say you haven't been warned ....

Note that the entire point of Free Speech rights is the right to be critical, no matter how offensive others may perceive that criticism.

Since this is a right that I take seriously, and choose to exercise freely, anyone who has objections to that should not read this post or this blog.

Since I don't want to single out the Catholics ....


In honor of Everybody Draw Mohammed Day (May 20) the following cartoon posted originally on and belonging to Blazing Cat Fur, and in honor of BoobQuake follows.

And then there's the famous (and one of my favorite) cartoon series: 

Jesus and Mo

In Honor Of BoobQuake -Updated

My Boobies - Censored ;-D

Event initiated by Blag Hag

BoobQuake Cartoon - Hilarious

Facebook 

eSarcasms' news and views on BoobQuake - Hilarious

Mo' Boobs for BoobQuake - Do not click if you are easily offended!

 I'll be updating all day with links to blogs, sites and news....

Atheists : The Real Ghostbusters

Biggles vs Allah

In one of the Biggles books, Biggles pulls a Muslim out of a pit.

Hearing the Muslim thank Allah, Biggles said "Allah pushed you in; I pulled you out." 

The Muslim didn't get the point; it still didn't occur to him to thank Biggles.

by ranjit of AvC

moar funny pictures

God and Salvation, an atheist's children's story version

AmyLuv asks: How exactly would you explain the need for salvation to a 7 year old?

Dag Yo replies: I'll give this a shot. [pretend I'm talking to a 7-year-old]

People need salvation because a long time ago God made a neat little
garden for people and animals to live in. There was also a magic tree
in this garden, with a fruit that makes anyone who eats it really
smart, but God said that it was against the rules to eat anything from
that tree. One day your Great Grandma got talked into eating some
magic fruit by a walking talking snake. So your grandma ate the fruit
and got all smart, but then when God found out God was really mad and
after that he hated all the people in the world -- he even hated
babies because they came from their smart grandparents. God hates
everyone so much that the people he really hates, he hurts really
really bad forever. In fact, God even hates you.

But after a few thousand years, God decided it was kinda mean of him
to hurt everyone really bad forever just because he hates them so
much. So he decided he would get a woman pregnant so he could have a
baby of his own. That baby was named Jesus. And then when that baby
grew up God and Jesus made sure that Jesus got hurt really bad for a
few days. And so, God doesn't hate anyone who remembers that Jesus
got hurt for a few days.

So don't ever forget that Jesus got hurt, or God will want to hurt you
forever and ever, thanks to your stupid Grandma.

by Dag Yo of AvC and DR

Cormagh, A Personal Story

deej wrote: Atheists, what is the significance of your "lack of belief in gods"?

Cormagh responds: The fact that I lack belief determines practically everything about me, from the way I raise my kids to how I think of and treat others. While I had belief in gods I spent a certain amount of my time preoccupied with how these gods wanted to act and much less to actually care about how I wanted to act and why.

deej wrote: You must find something especially important about your lack of belief
if you label yourself an atheist, so why is it a position worth defending?

Cormagh responds: The position of atheist is to me that of clear thinking person, one without any religious baggage. If I have benefitted so much from being an atheist, why shouldn't I find it important. Of course I am speaking as someone who once was a theist; someone with no experience with theism would not have the broad basis of comparison I do.

deej wrote: As pointed out time and again on this forum, Atheists 'believe' that atheism is not a belief system but merely a "lack of belief". Elaborate for me: does your "lack of belief in gods" have a profound affect on the way you live your life? If not, why spend so much time arguing for your lack of belief? And if so, why not stop hiding behind the blanket statement that atheism is a "lack of belief" as opposed to a "belief", and actually defend your 'worldview'? Why not stop criticising Christianity and rather defend your own position?

Cormagh responds: We shouldn't stop criticisizing Christianity because it is a major part of the problem with the persistence of the Superstitious World. Our own position doesn't need much defence; Atheist "appologetics" consists mainly in attacks on theism for a reason. For an atheist, theism is the whole problem in a nutshell.

deej wrote: Tell me, is the way you're living your life right now significantly affected by your "lack of belief in gods"? If not, why on earth do you post on this forum? It seems to me that too many atheists post merely to criticise Christianity and thereby feed inflated egos. It is not the truth you're seeking, but rather self-aggrandisement. Prove me wrong and defend your "lack of belief". Show me that this forum is not just an online collection of egotistical tripe...

Cormagh responds: The actual reason or "continuing the tradition" of atheism (since that's the question you're really posing here: What is the integrity
of atheism?) is for me, to repay a debt. I had theism built into me by my upbringing. My school and even my own parent did what they could to build a religious structure into my mind. When I reached puberty, I began to stop the spread of the virus, by asking myself questions about gods and trying to find the answers. The result was that I transformed myself from a believer to an agnostic, using analytical
tools I had learned from reading William James. I probably could have stayed agnostic all my life. One day, Bob, a friend of mine, was talking to me about cosmology and I said something about God. He asked me who God was. I replied in my agnostic language that it was power, influence, etc. in the Universe, which seemed to me to be
unanswerable. Then he said something that reverberates still in my mind. He said, "Then why do you have to call it God?" The lightbulb went on, and then something shattered. I realized that the name "God" was just a trap I had been led into by years of bad education. From that point on I remembered that when I needed an explanation for something important, powerful or unknown, no matter how humble it made me feel, I didn't have to call it "God" anymore. I could now just describe it as it was or as it appeared using whatever language was most fittng.

Cormagh responds: It was a couple more years before I lost all of the "stigmata" of religion, such as fantasies about the "Devil" (I was Catholic), but it was that question about the word "God" that finished the job of freeing me from all of the religious abuse and indoctrination I had received since I was a child.

Cormagh responds: So being an atheist leaves you with nothing to defend. Some of us have the pain of religious indoctrination, some of us don't. And we're not
"seeking the truth", other than in the ways any scientist or lawyer might do it. We we all have in common is that we really have no beliefs that need defending. I can say that criticizing Christianity is not egoistical, it is for me, simply a way to repay a debt I still owe to my friend Bob.

by Cormagh of AvC

Pat Condell on SecularPhobia, Christianity and Islam

My Descent Into Hell

Isaiah Chapter 59:- They hatch cockatrice' eggs.

I was under the impression that a cockatrice is hatched from a cock’s egg, I tried to purchase some from my local supermarkets, to no avail. Can you tell me where they can be purchased, and advise where I can buy food now that I am banned from my local supermarkets?

Exodus 16:4:- Then said the Lord unto Moses, Behold, I will rain bread from heaven for you.

Is there any possibility that you could intervene with the Lord and ask for the raining of the odd cookie or bun on me? I am getting awfully hungry now that I have been declared a danger to society and not allowed into any of my local shops.

Isaiah 36:12:- That they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss.

In the absence of the promised raining of food and suffering from the terrible pangs of hunger I sampled the above menu as suggested by the Lord. Could you suggest a good remedy to relieve acute vomiting, nausea, diarrhea and stomach cramps?

4 Kings 2:23-24:- And he (Elijah ) went up from thence unto Bethel: and as he was going up by the way, there came forth little children out of the city, and mocked him, and said unto him, Go up, thou bald head; go up, thou bald head. And he turned back, and looked on them, and cursed them in the name of the LORD. And there came forth two she bears out of the wood, and tare forty and two children of them.

Another side effect of my current diet is that all my hair has fallen out, and as a result the local homies ridicule me endlessly, I did try luring them to the woods to be devoured by bears but failing in that and being a God-fearing, gun-toting American, I took 40 of them out with my Uzi. For some reason this seems to have aggravated the local Police, and excited Sky News, despite my clear explanation that this was the Lords punishment for mockery of baldness. I now find myself homeless and on the run.

Acts Chapter 5:- The judgment of God upon Ananias and Saphira, killed by the Lord because they would not sell all they possessed and give it to the Priests.

I have been kindly taken and sheltered by some God fearing pilgrims who live under a bridge, and all they want in return is that I give them all I possess, they say God will be angry if I don’t. I have no problem with this as it sounds pretty logical, but I can’t understand what God wants with an old Ford, a tin watch, an empty Uzi, and some old clothes.

Deuteronomy 23:1:- No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.

Having decided to hang on to my tin watch, (It was a gift from the National Rifle Association, signed by God, I mean Charlton Heston. I suffered a severe beating from the kindly God fearing people, which was understandable as I did not give them everything I had, and in the course of the beating suffering crushed testicles, resulting in the surgical removal of my damaged organ.

I have only three questions,

1. being on the verge of death, how am I going to overcome that ban

2. how do I pay the surgeon now that I am destitute

3. where the hell am I going to get those damned cockatrice' eggs that started this whole thing off in the first place

by Bob600 of AvC

Source: My Descent Into Hell, AvC thread

Atheist Tabernacle Choir

"Intelligent" Design, An Analogy.

A man went to a tailor to be fitted for a new suit of clothes. After the tailor altered the suit, the man stood in front of the mirror to check the fit. At first glance he noticed that the suit jacket’s right arm sleeve was rather short, and too much of his wrist was showing.

“This sleeve looks a little short. Would you please lengthen it?”

“The sleeve is not too short,” replied the tailor. “Your arm is too long ... Just pull your arm back a few inches and you will see that the sleeve fits perfectly.”

The man withdrew his arm a bit, and the sleeve was matched with his wrist.

But this movement rumpled the upper portion of the jacket.

“Now the nape of the collar is several inches above my neck,” he protested.

“There’s nothing wrong with the collar,” the tailor insisted. “Your neck is too low. Lift the back of your neck and the jacket will fit well.”

The customer raised his neck a few inches, and sure enough the collar rounded it where it was supposed to.

But now there was another problem: the bottom of the jackeet rested high above his seat.

“Now my whole rear end is sticking out!” the man complained.

“No problem,” the tailor replied. “Just lift up your rear end so it fits under the jacket.”

Again the customer complied, which left his body in a very contorted posture.

But the tailor had convinced him that the problem was not with the suit, but him.

So he paid the tailor for the suit and walked out of the shop in a most awkward position, struggling to keep all parts of the suit in their right places.

On the street he encountered two women walking in the opposite direction.

After they passed, one woman turned to the other and commented, “That poor man is really crippled!”

“He sure is,” the other replied. “But his tailor is fantastic!"

ID - a new suit for creationism.

-- by Unknown

--provided by ZenCycle of AvC with the following explanation:

I was trying to find out who the author was, but came up empty.

I first read it in a book called Plato and A Platypus Walk Into A Bar" which is a discussion of philosophy through jokes but it wasn't attributed there either. It may have been written by the authors Thomas Cathcart and Daniel Klein. It's very light reading as you can imagine, and the 'discussions' of the various philosophies aren't exactly deep since the book isn't much bigger than a harlequin romance novel, but it's still pretty fun, and useful to someone with no knowledge of other religions or philosophies.

A web search wasn't much help either, and I only found it on a few blogs, with no credits, but there is a variation attributed to Ram Dass that gives the tailor the name of Zumbach and ends like this:

Later that day, he was waiting at the bus stop with his shoulders lopsided and his head straining forward, when another fellow took hold of his lapel and said,

"What a beautiful suit! I'll bet Zumbach the tailor made that suit for you."

"Why, yes," the man said, "but how did you know?"

"Because only a tailor as brilliant as Zumbach could outfit a body as crippled as yours."

God Lives!!!

Trance's Conversion To Theism

TRANSCENDENTAL ARGUMENT, a.k.a. PRESUPPOSITIONALIST (I)

(1) If reason exists then God exists.

(2) Reason exists.

(3) Therefore, God exists.

(1) If God exists, then the Spirit exists.

(2) God exists.

(3) Therefore, the Spirit exists.

(1) If God exists then the Soul exists.

(2) God exists.

(3) Therefore, the Soul exists.

God made Man in His Image.

(1) If God exists, then he made Man.

(2) God exists.

(3) Therefore, Man exists.

God made Woman from Rib of Man.

(1) If Man exists, then God made Woman from Man's Rib

(2) Man exists.

(3) Therefore, Woman exists.

Since God made Woman from Man's Rib

Then Woman exists for Man ;-)

Man serves God

Woman serves Man

Tell me you guys don't love that!

By Theist Trance Gemini of AvC

Full AvC Thread